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16 October 2010 @ 07:41 am
...No, I'm not going to joke around. I'm not going to put in silly little comics and pictures to illustrate my point. I'm not going to futz around with little depictions of the crazy. This story is absolute pain. I warn you this story will make you rage for canon to come back. It will make you search out pstibbons and kill him in slow and very painful ways. It will make you loathe the very name of pstibbons instead of laugh at it. this "fic" doesn't deserve the likes of my drawings. It doesn't deserve anything more than my outright loathing for its mere existance. It deserves the wrath of an angry god to strike it down where it stands. That is this fic.

This fic is so terrible and horrifying and horrible that I went out for extra paper just to continue rebutting every single fucking thing that is wrong with this God Damned Fic. I continued writing until my fucking hand hurt. I had to end it early because of that very problem. It is that bad. It is so bad that it deserves a worse fate than being seen in the So Horrible It's Horrible section of TV Tropes. It deserves a showcasing on every single GodAwful type board and site possible just to show just how horrible it truly is. That is how bad this fic is.

Oh, but you're probably wondering why it's that bad.

I would tell you to read it, but trying to read that garbage would be like trying to read the insane ramblings of a psychotic ten year old boy off his meds. Oh wait, I just described the author. In this story we open to an "exerpt" from a fictional autobiography by Viktor Krum from 2032. Then, pretty much the next thing we're treated to is the disgusting description of him fucking Cedric. Hermione shows up and she isn't suprised or even trying to just leave them alone and forget about it, no, she's a complete bitch and calls them dickheads before going by them and grabbing a book and then commenting on their asses as she walks away. Krum tries to get her to keep quiet later and she nearly hexes his face off when he corners her. Then, she calls him a heronista (a derrogetory term directed at Ron/Hermione shippers) and then Krum suddenly has the insatiable need to have her be his "friend". I put that in quotations because quite honestly despite his constantly talking about cock and how he's queer he doesn't act like it. He acts like he's more interested in banging Hermione.

Oh, but it doesn't end there. No no no... see... This is about the Yule Ball and the author getting revenge on Ron for shouting at Hermione at the Yule Brawl. See, unlike a lot of H/Hrs, who are crazy to begin with, this guy doesn't want Hermione with anyone. He doesn't believe in it. He thinks an original character him is better suited to her. But enough of that. The Yule Brawl happens... unlike what it is in the book with Hermione shouting at Ron and then storming off from the common room, and instead divulges to have Ron and Harry walk off without her and leave her with Krum. She then God-mods and forces Ron into a duel where she tortures him with one spell and then tortures him some more with Dark Satan Magic Powers. I say that, because.... oh fuck, just read the goddamn thing.

And then the author tells us all to STFU because we're a bunch of gutless maggots who are beneath him. God I hate him.

I want to see this man bleed for every wrong he has committed against canon.Collapse )

Mood?: enragedenraged
Singin': The pounding fury in my skull...
Here we have the bastardization of Hermione and Ron's daughter Rose Weasley. She's turned into a raging depressive, obsessive, nihilistic psycho claiming she shouldn't exist and the whole premise centers around how Ron, Ginny and Molly collaborated to continually feed Hermione a love potion so Ron could rape Hermione for several years until she died at 40 from the flu. Molly's so out of character it's insulting. Ginny's so out of character it's mind boggling. Hermione's treated like a martyr. Ron's treated like a criminal. And Harry's reduced to being useless.

This was the most insane one that I saw of pstibbon's fics, but I've got others I'm going to do. They're all pretty short so I can do one after another fairly quickly if I can keep from flying into a rage between the pages. (I'm not even joking. I had to read this monstrosity to Alex to relieve some of the built up pressure.)

More stupid than anything I've ever seen before.Collapse )
Mood?: aggravatedaggravated
Singin': whatever's on Pandora Radio right now
This story.... this... I don't know what to say about it. I do, but seriously it's just like some kid from Jesus Camp decided to write fanfiction to turn away everyone from Harry Potter by making Harry Potter turn away from magic. I found this while poking through TV Tropes and saw the So Horrible It's Horrible fanfiction section so I took a gander at what they had. Since I do really well with Harry Potter fics (On account of it being a primary love of mine outside of a few others and there are some pent up frustrations with the fandom I do enjoy letting out occasionally) I decided to pick out a couple of HP fics if they jumped out at me. Well, one certainly did that.

As TVTropes says it's taking a sort of Jack Chick form of instant conversion to evangelical Christianity for Harry in little more than a week. It's pretty much as I said like a kid from Jesus Camp decided to write a fanfiction for Harry Potter. (Joke courtesy of the Navigator Amanda.)

tl;dr It's fucking stupid.

Dumber than Twilight ever thought of being.Collapse )
Mood?: annoyedannoyed
Singin': Metal Gear Solid theme
This was done long ago in a galaxy far, far away. It was handed to me by, I think, Bo'sun Alex back before I knew her. I recall very strongly how when I called the little shit out on her bullshit she pretty well tried to intimidate me and threaten me. Then again, the Phantom community went apeshit on me when I said Erik wasn't real. Go figure. Well, I sort of forgot about this fic. I got distracted by other, shinier, lulzier things and forgot to do much more of this. I don't have the original bits I did handy, so I'm doing it over... for however long I care to do. It isn't as though it will matter since quite honestly the woman now seems to be trying to ignore me. *shrug*

Besides, I've got something big I've been wanting to do and never could figure out how to go do it.

Powerful Desire is about Desirae, a self-professed "plain Jane" Hispanic girl (I think) and her adventures with the friendly neighborhood Phantom ghost. (I say I think she's Hispanic because I made note of that before.) In this story Desirae swears is her real life and that Erik came back from the dead to teach her how to dance and sing and use her special magic powers because she prayed to God to send her the Phantom of the Opera to teach her. Oh, and she is the reincarnation of Christine Daae. (BRILLIANT!)

Desirae has a very funky way of writing; it's backwards written in such a way that I think she was trying to sound more profound in doing it and failed miserably in the process. She also ends up sounding a LOT like Bella Swan most of the time and Erik sounds like Edward Cullen. (Meyer came from Corpus Christi, TX?) The story itself is blatantly obvious, it's stupid and for the most part just a fantasy, wish fullfillment piece made to make the author feel good about herself. Meanwhile she still has yet to tell me that she was indeed making it all up.

Fake cut to an fake life. Meyer could only dream of something so convoluted. oh wait...Collapse )

And now it's done. This story was monstrous. Not only were there spelling and grammar errors that were hilarious, but the plot, the logic, the very ideas behind it all were just so horrible as to be horrifying. Horrifying that someone actually thinks that this is all real and they were trying to tell people about their life. No, Miss, Erik is not in your room. He is not even a ghost. You, however, are insane. Go find the nearest insane asylum and check yourself in for psychiatric help. You need it.
Mood?: cynicalcynical
16 October 2008 @ 10:30 pm
Ever since Twilight came out and the fandom blew up into this very loud and very obnoxious contingent of little more than pubescent teenage girls and their mothers, I've looked upon it all with a degree of cynicism and disgust. I didn't really bother with the books because it looked like some sort of stupid series by a stupid author who just happened to get lucky. I was right, but it didn't end there. I look into it and I find out that the writer is a hack who should never have been allowed to publish a thing and the story itself is so poorly constructed and poorly written that I can't get past the first few pages without wanting to reach into the world and strangle Bella Swan for being the most infuriating little twat I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing.

Then I realized with horror that the girls screamed about it so much because they wanted to be that whiny, bratty little bitch from hell because her prospective boy toy is a vampire who sparkles. Vampires... don't sparkle. Not unless they get tripped into a vat of glitter glue. Even better are the writer's explanations for some of the finer points of her characters. The vampires aren't vampires.... they're aliens.

Anyway, because of all that hype and the trashiness of the book, in the bad way at that, I decided that the only way I could get any sort of understanding of the book was to read it, but since I can't actually read it without wanting to chuck it out the window and burning it I must therefore scan it and bleed on it. :D

Behold.... I shall bring you Twilight as it is slowly destroyed by the Sue Destroyer. :D

Where ye be?: bastrop
Mood?: mischievousmischievous
Singin': my mom's hairdryer
I hate feminazis, because they constantly irritate me with their stupidity and call us normal women who love our men "brainwashed" and "too oppressed to know better", I decided to get a little of my own back for our beloved men.

here's the the angerfest
Mood?: satisfiedsatisfied
23 August 2008 @ 05:03 pm
This is the first part of the other feminazi that got under my skin and made me really hate these women so much more than before.

Part One here!

Part Two :D

and because you all probably ought to read her comments as well as see the Fandom Wank report... I bring them to you. :D

The Fandom Wank Report


The actual essay and the rest of her tripe.
Mood?: satisfiedsatisfied